Three Levels of Healing
In the practice of Family Constellations, there are a number of levels of consciousness to move through in order to reach the deepest healing at the level of the soul. The three levels are called Acknowledge, Accept and Agree.
When a person begins presenting the issue for which they need peace and resolution, they will likely begin in either the mental or emotional level, or a mixture of the two. The mental level is the facts of the personal and family story- what has happened, and what is known to be true. It is best to stay with the facts without going into speculation, opinions or judgment, because that leads to cycling in the story without opening a possibility for change. What is already known and has been experienced is from the past, and healing- replacing the current limiting image carried in the unconscious mind with something healthier- can only take place in the present moment.
Acknowledging the truth takes the form of simple statements: You are my father. I am your older sister. You died when I was 18. Stating and facing what is true allows for deeper connection to the body and the emotional level. This movement is supported with safety and consciousness, and is always done at a rate determined by the person who has set up the Constellation.
By dropping into the emotional level, a space is created to release what has remained unexpressed or ungrieved. One can now move into the level of Acceptance, which brings more clarity and compassion through seeing a larger picture: I accept you as my younger brother. I accept you as my father exactly as you are. I accept everything that happened. This movement helps one to find the strength in feeling that one has indeed remained alive, survived what happened, and as an adult can make different choices.
When the wave of the emotional level has passed through, there is still another depth from which more healing is possible. This is the level of Soul Agreement. We can take responsibility for our place in the family, and the relationship we have or had with each member. On the level of the soul, we agreed to be born into this family, in this place and at this time, under these circumstances. There were lessons we wished to undertake for the evolution of our soul- to learn patience, kindness, compassion or other qualities. Perhaps we came to balance a karmic debt. At this level, when the emotion has subsided, there are usually no words, but simply a powerful looking into the eyes of someone representing a family member. The feeling is one of stillness and peace, and an understanding that surpasses the knowing of the mind. It may require the clearing of numerous issues and several Constellations, over time, to reach this level. It is an ongoing process.