Can We All Get Along?
September 1st, 2015

Andre lives with his mother and 2 siblings.  His sister has a 2 year old baby.  He’s never known his father; his mother graduated from high school and works part-time as an aesthetician.  He works after school at a car wash and has just started the tenth grade.  ‘Dre hangs out with some friends who have recently begun smoking marijuana and who are being mentored by some men who are teaching them to break into houses.


Estelle lives with her parents, her mother’s parents, her father’s brother, and 2 cousins.  Her father works 7 days a week painting houses and apartments and her mother cleans houses. Estelle has a boyfriend and is helping her parents learn to read and write English.  Her mother hopes Estelle doesn’t get pregnant before she’s 18. Jim lives with his parents and two siblings on their family farm.  His father has 100 acres of corn and soybeans, is able to pay his bills each month and  Read more...

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Marriage and Conscious Sacrifice
August 11th, 2015

Before Kelly and I were married, we spent some time considering what we were going to give up in order to make the commitment to be life partners.  This reflection was inspired by our training in Family Constellations, and our teachers Peter and Jamy Faust who reminded us that whenever we want to move into a new stage of life, there will be great benefits but also a price to pay in what we would need to let go. Doing this exercise began to help us understand the deeper, spiritual purpose of marriage.


The root of the word ‘sacrifice’ is, of course, “sacred”, and the short definition is “to make sacred.”  I have to admit that, even being raised as a Christian and Catholic, I was surprised to see the primary definition in various online dictionaries for ‘sacrifice’ related to the slaughter of animals or humans.  For myself, there is a deep imprint of bible stories with knives raised over animals and children on stone  Read more...

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Healing Through Reconnecting What's Been Separated
April 17th, 2015

What Kelly and I see many times in the work of Family Constellations are people who have, consciously or unconsciously, rejected some quality, tradition, or event from their family's or their ancestors' lives. It is a natural and human tendency to choose what we find pleasant, acceptable, healthy and agreeable, and to push away what we (or society, or any group with which we identify) consider wrong or bad. When we do this at a young age it is usually a necessary part of our individuation, and even sometimes required for our physical or emotional survival. 

The hard work of Family Constellations often lies in seeing, accepting, and coming to peace with everything in our families. By rejecting any part of the lives of our parents or ancestors, we may also cut ourselves off from the life force with which our very existence came to us. This does not mean we condone crimes, injustice or abuse if they occurred. Instead, it gives us an opportunity to see more of the  Read more...

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The Knowing Field
February 12th, 2015

The Knowing Field

Because we are the living descendants of all of our ancestors, we are forever and inextricably linked to our family lineage on many obvious as well as subtle levels. In addition, we share with all of humanity the experience of having come from a family. For these reasons, a deep intimacy can be created in a group that shares an intention to heal personal and family challenges. A powerful field effect is created in which those gathered can eventually, by opening to trust, experience a harmonic resonance without ever having met previously. One person's Constellation may help to heal a similar issue in another's life, and insights can come to all present as they are willing to be in sacred service to each other.

In the process of Family Constellations, a person wishing to heal a life issue will be guided to choose representatives from the group of participants who have come together for the seminar. (In individual Constellations, the client uses  Read more...

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To Give From Fullness
January 4th, 2015

In late December Kelly and I were leaving the Outward Bound base camp in Everglades City FL after our holiday paddling trip, and getting ready to spend the night with my family in North Palm Beach who had been taking care of Harvey while we were in the Glades. I saw a fisherman on a dock cleaning fish and some folks walking toward him, and I thought we might buy some of his fish to take back to share at dinner that night. Kelly asked him where we might buy some fish and he said, "you can get some right here." 
He had gone fishing with his wife and caught a mess of mullet and asked how many we wanted. Then he asked if we needed ice. Then he said, "If it's alright with you follow me back to my house and I'll load you up there. And I'm not going to charge you for these. It's my Christmas gift to you." He gave us 15 whole fish and enough ice to fill our cooler! We were pretty blown away by Lt. Valdez's generosity- he is a fire  Read more...

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