Healing with a Bow to the Ancestors
December 19th, 2014

The Bow to Your Ancestors

Regardless of the stories you carry about your family- what happened in the family history, how you feel you were recognized, treated and supported in your likes and dislikes as well as your talents and longings, and how you feel currently about the state of the relationships you have with all your family members- there is a simple practice that can help shift the way you carry your family in your heart, and bring you peace and resolution. It is the recognition that of all your gifts, the greatest you were ever given was your life. You can acknowledge this gift with a bow.

You are the literal product of the lives of your parents and all your ancestors. Through their struggles and successes, through their traumas and delights, through all their experiences, life flowed through them and came to you. They lived so that you could have life. To honor this fact is to put yourself in right relationship with your ancestors, and to reconnect with the love  Read more...

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Illness, Balance in Family Systems, and Ebola
October 16th, 2014

Let no one... persuade you to cure the head, until he has first given you his soul to be cured by the charm. For this is the great error of our day in the treatment of the human body, that physicians separate the soul from the body.” -The Dialogues of Plato: Charmides

     One of the higher perspectives on illness or dis-ease holds that any disturbance in physical, emotional or spiritual health brings a gift of awareness hidden within it. For example, a fall that leads to a sprained wrist may lead to a sudden change in a person's lifestyle and a slowing down of activities. Sometimes such an unexpected yet necessary reassessment of priorities reminds us of the value of space and reflection in our lives, and of the benefit from filling our soul with what it needs, rather than filling our calendar with appointments.
     Medical intuitive Carolyn Myss has said, “Illness can develop as a consequence of behavioral patterns  Read more...

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Invisible Loyalties
September 17th, 2014
Loyalty is one of the themes explored in the work of Family Constellations, and more specifically the energies of hidden or unconscious loyalty. In the adult world loyalties are generally discussed in reference to one’s nation, ethnic group, religion, family, political affiliation and sports teams, among others. Loyalty is one aspect of belonging to a group, and it can also be a measure of the intensity of belonging. Different groups require and even demand various proofs of loyalty. A powerful exercise you might consider is to make a list of all the groups to which you belong. Think about the intensity of the loyalty you have to each, and under what conditions your loyalty may change or be tested. It’s impossible to be loyal to all of them equally and at the same time.

When a child is conceived and newly incarnated, her spirit has just arrived in a body from the non-physical world of oneness. She is completely open and loves unconditionally, and she has agreed on the  Read more...
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Three Levels of Healing
August 21st, 2014
In the practice of Family Constellations, there are a number of levels of consciousness to move through in order to reach the deepest healing at the level of the soul. The three levels are called Acknowledge, Accept and Agree.

When a person begins presenting the issue for which they need peace and resolution, they will likely begin in either the mental or emotional level, or a mixture of the two. The mental level is the facts of the personal and family story- what has happened, and what is known to be true. It is best to stay with the facts without going into speculation, opinions or judgment, because that leads to cycling in the story without opening a possibility for change. What is already known and has been experienced is from the past, and healing- replacing the current limiting image carried in the unconscious mind with something healthier- can only take place in the present moment.
Acknowledging the truth takes the form of simple statements of fact: You are  Read more...
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Honoring Former Spouses
July 25th, 2014
In the practice of Family Constellations, there is a simple and profound teaching about honoring our former spouses. Rather than use the term “ex-wife” or “ex-husband,” we say “first husband” or "second wife.” It's more respectful, and it acknowledges the truth; that this person had an essential place in our lives before the spouse to whom we are married now. This simple modification of the commonly used term "ex-" reminds us how important it is to recognize the role our previous spouse played in the growth of our own soul. 

It was difficult for them, as well, to go through the pain and disappointment of divorce. They held a place for us to learn more about ourselves, and create opportunities to make new and different choices. Furthermore, it helps us accept and take responsibility for the parts we played in creating and ending the marriage. This is especially important when there are children shared, as it models  Read more...
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