Regardless of the stories you carry about your family- what happened in the family history, how you feel you were recognized, treated and supported in your likes and dislikes as well as your talents and longings, and how you feel currently about the state of the relationships you have with all your family members- there is a simple practice that can help shift the way you carry your family in your heart, and bring you peace and resolution. It is the recognition that of all your gifts, the greatest you were ever given was life, and to acknowledge this gift with a bow.
You are the literal product of the lives of your parents and all your ancestors. Through their struggles and successes, through their traumas and delights, through all their experiences, life flowed through them and came to you. They lived so that you could have life. To honor this fact is to put yourself in right relationship with your ancestors, and to reconnect with the love and support that is available to you on the soul level.
Sit somewhere you can be quiet, comfortable and centered. Begin with your parents. Close your eyes, and presence your father before you, as he looks to you now if he is still alive, or as you remember him if he has died. Quietly say out loud his full name. Take time to feel him and the place he has in your life. If you feel any difficulty with this, simply stay with it and wait until you can feel him clearly. Then, when you are ready, presence your mother at your father's side, next to his left shoulder. Quietly say out loud her full name. Feel the place she has in your life. Again, take your time, and allow yourself to acknowledge that on the soul level, below the personality and the story, it was only through these two people that life came to you.
Now add your grandparents behind your parents. Start with your father's father behind his right shoulder, then his mother behind his left shoulder. It can help to remember that your father was also a child to his parents. If you don't know your grandparents' full names, say as much as you know. It can be a powerful healing to ask other family members for their names, or to do the research to find the information. Continue with your mother's father and mother. If you did not know them or do not know what they looked like, see if you can get family photographs to help you connect with them. Add the great-grandparents behind your grandparents as well if it feels right. It is extremely powerful to acknowledge the lives these many generations lived. Very quickly there are many people standing in your lineage. From the dimension in which they now exist, there's nothing they can do physically to influence your life. Open to the possibility that on the soul level, they all wish for you to be happy and free to live your life.
Now, if it feels right, presence yourself standing before your parents. Remember that it was only through these people that life came to you. If it feels right, with humility, bow your head to them. Honor them for being your father and mother. When you raise your head, look again at them and feel the connection you will always have.
Finally, see yourself turning around so your parents are behind you. Imagine them each placing a hand on your shoulders. Allow yourself to feel the love and life force which flowed from your ancestors and down through your parents to you on the level of the soul. In your own time, imagine yourself taking a step forward into your own life while still aware of the support they hold behind you.
Making this a daily practice is a powerful way to begin to heal anything unresolved with your family. As you gain experience with it, you can add siblings and others.
This is most effective if you practice with a sense of true respect and humility, and feel your heart as you do it. If you reach a barrier at any point, don't judge yourself. Simply acknowledge that this is where you are in your relationship with this person. You might make a prayer to the divine for help, acknowledging that at this time you still carry uncomfortable memories and feelings toward this person, and that you have a longing to heal what is unresolved in order to have a different relationship with this person.
After undertaking this practice for some time, you may experience a shift in your experience of your family members when you see them in person and interact with them. This is where the real work takes place: feeling humility and respect, and seeing your family members in a new way when you are with them- through the more expansive eyes of the soul.
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