Three Levels of Healing In the practice of Family Constellations, there are a number of levels of consciousness to move through in order to reach the deepest healing at the level of the soul. The three levels are called Acknowledge, Accept and Agree. When a person begins presenting the issue for which they need peace and resolution, they will likely begin in either the mental or emotional level, or a mixture of the two. The mental level is the facts of the personal and family story- what has happened, and what is known to be true. It is best to stay with the facts without going into speculation, opinions or judgment, because that leads to cycling in the story without opening a possibility for change. What is already known and has been experienced is from the past, and healing- replacing the current limiting image carried in the unconscious mind with something healthier- can only take place in the present moment. Acknowledging the truth takes the form of simple statements: You are my father. I am your older sister. You died when I was 18. Stating and facing what is true allows for deeper connection to the body...

In the practice of Family Constellations, there is a simple and profound teaching about honoring our former spouses. Rather than use the term “ex-wife” or “ex-husband,” we say “first husband” or "second wife.” It's more respectful, and it acknowledges the truth; that this person had an essential place in our lives before the spouse or partner we are currently with, or to whom we are married now. This simple modification of the commonly used term "ex-" reminds us how important it is to recognize the role our previous partner or spouse played in the growth of our own soul. It was difficult for them, as well, to go through the pain and disappointment of divorce. They held a place for us to learn more about ourselves, and create opportunities to make new and different choices. Furthermore, it helps us accept and take responsibility for the parts we...