In the practice of Family Constellations, there is a simple and profound teaching about honoring our former spouses. Rather than use the term “ex-wife” or “ex-husband,” we say “first husband” or "second wife.” It's more respectful, and it acknowledges the truth; that this person had an essential place in our lives before the spouse or partner we are currently with, or to whom we are married now. This simple modification of the commonly used term "ex-" reminds us how important it is to recognize the role our previous partner or spouse played in the growth of our own soul. It was difficult for them, as well, to go through the pain and disappointment of divorce. They held a place for us to learn more about ourselves, and create opportunities to make new and different choices. Furthermore, it helps us accept and take responsibility for the parts we...