A constellation on adoption can provide insight, understanding and relief for the unresolved energies that may cling to the souls of the birth parents, adopting parents and adoptee. Although the circumstances which gave rise to the adoption happened long ago (and possibly a number of generations back in the ancestral lineage), they have lingering effects. There are many questions that remain to be lived through for all family members who are involved. An adoptee may want to know what kind of people their parents were, and what qualities and skills they may have inherited from them. They may also wonder about the reasons for the adoption, and retain challenges of feeling good enough in some situations. These questions do not easily reveal their gifts through the logic of language or the assessments of morality, but may be approached slowly and carefully, in the right timing, with the guidance and support of a Constellations facilitator.
There are various levels of consciousness through which one can pass in a constellation. Each level requires greater courage and has different qualities. The beginning stage involves the mind and what one already knows. This usually includes the simple facts of one’s life- for example, what happened and who was involved. It’s this level of knowing that has carried us just so far in life. To go further into healing requires moving into the next level: the watery, uncertain realm of the emotions. A skilled guide will provide resources, a safe platform to which you may return, and adequate buoyancy for wading into the unknown depths at the speed which is right for you.
A first constellation on adoption may begin with representatives for the birth parents, the adopting parents, and the adoptee. After setting up the representatives the client returns to sit with the facilitator and observe. The healing may begin just by looking, as it may have been overwhelming for the client to fully consider all the reasons the birth parents chose to not keep the child. Eventually the facilitator will ask the representatives to report on their own feelings as well as their sense of the others in the constellation. Gradually more of the image of the family soul will be revealed as each takes their turn speaking of their experience. Healing statements may be offered to help reconnect the adoptee to all the members of the family and the ancestral lineage for the reopening of closed places in the heart. There are many ways for the adoptee’s representative to explore their place in the family. The unfolding of the constellation is guided by the spiraling of the ancestral energies as they emerge and move through the group.
At its deepest resonance, a constellation allows a client to drop to the soul level of consciousness and gain wordless insight into the agreements that were made to be born to one’s particular parents. It’s impossible to describe, and each constellation is unique. New learning on the soul level may take place by looking into the eyes of a representative and feeling movement on an inner, timeless dimension. This can take time and needs to move through many stages, so the constellation is allowed to open organically, with respect for its sacred nature. When the resolution that is possible comes to fullness, the representative for the adoptee- or if it’s right, the client- may be able to take their place in the family in an entirely new way. When the constellation is over, the group is advised to consider the sensitive state the client is in, and to not add anything to the experience so the client can begin to integrate the learning, and allow the medicine to do its healing work in the heart.
We are grateful to our teachers, Peter and Jamy Faust, for showing us this method in the three years of training we did with them in their Constellation Approach program. For more information you can read their book The Constellation Approach: Finding peace through your family lineage (Regent Press, 2015) and visit their website www.constellationapproach.com
[Originally published July 27, 2016]
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